Thursday, January 12, 2012

sometimes it last in love, but sometimes it hurts instead....


while i was sitting on my station,doing my work,you suddenly stand beside me...a familiar scenario that you usually do before whenever you wait for me during lunch,break or when the work is over. well, its been about 7mons since i have seen that scenario...and now,it felt good to feel that feeling again.i thought you are going to ask me out or walk with me as we go home.but no,instead its a bad news."im tendering my resignation immediately" suddenly i see black colors,i cant hear anything,and my eyes just wanted to cry...i always knew that you will be resigning,well i hear it from my friends,your friends and everyone but you never really tell me--straight to my face...so now,your showing me the paper...i pretended reading it but i cant really understand what it says. so this is it...the closure that i was waiting for for years....its coming into reality... he's really leaving me!!! i always say to friends and people that i have moved on although its not really true...there's still a part of me that will dream that one day you will come back and ask for forgiveness and asking me to be with you again....well i think now it will never happened...

three years and 6mons.....that was the best years and months of my life....i never thought i would find you....you just came from nowhere...and suddenly, im inlove! i was mending a broken heart,when you suddenly came....i remember the first time i met you,it was 2am,your phone rang with a song "always be my baby"....i suddenly heard it,came to you and say "meron ka nyan? pabluetooth naman!!! ang tagal kong hinahanap yang song na yan!!" and then you ask for my number,i did ask for your number aswell...after a couple of days,my phone is ringing,your asking me how am i? and then the rest was history.....

the first year was really the happiest.....you have showered me with love and attention that i feel im the luckiest girl on earth...everything looks fine,everything looks perfect....
the second year was kinda rocky....thats the part where we really know each other on the point that i get comfortable waking up with you in the morning and sleeping with you at night...we get so comfortable together that sometimes we tend to forget the love that we have for each other. one day we're okay, the other day we're not...but still we manage to get through because of LOVE.
the third year was the worse....we broke up...get back again...broke up again...get back again...until we finally decided to be friends...BESTFRIENDS...guess we are the perfect definition of the phrase "friends with benefits!"(not in the greener idea ok)...untill the time you decided to find someone else,i did aswell but mine did not last,bec i still long for you,,,,yours didnt last either but you decided to find someone else again.....and again...and again....while your still looking for miss right,im right beside you,supporting you,,,understanding you....hoping someday,you realize that the one your looking for is just at your side....but like what they say "merong hangganan ang lahat"....i got tired of waiting...i got fed up of understanding.....
and so i decided to avoid you....go on with my life.....but theres still a little bit of me hoping someday, you'll return......and yes you did....you talk to me again,,,,but not bec you wanted to be with me again....but because you wanted to leave.......PERMANENTLY.....

"Rassel alis na ko,,,,nagpapirma lang ako nito eh..." ...and so i get back to myself again....."ok, ingat ka...." ...those were the last words i utter before you left my sight......after all this months of waiting and wanting to talk to you,,,thats all that i can say :(

there goes my ONE GREAT LOVE.....im never going to see him again (maybe)..... its ok....he have thought me a lot about love...how to give more and expect less....how to be unselfish and kind...how to be understanding and not demanding....i guess i will never love like i did with him but i think im smarter now....and a lot stronger.....and i hope someday, he will find the one that he has been looking for....as for me, well as the song goes "never mind i find someone like you...." but i hope when that time comes, it will last forever.. :)

it was not the happy ending that i have dream of for the longest time,,,but it was the bittersweet ending that have set both our hearts free :)

1 comment:

what other people can say.........