can't figure

"EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON." That is what i used to tell myself every time somethings not good is happening to me, pretty nice thing to say to your self, huh?

Well everything has reason that is for sure, 'coz why are we going to let things happen anyway.

I am 28 years old, graduated from college, have a job and pretty much alone. I used to have friends... like friends friends, the people you have plans for like forever: no one leaves each other, no one gets left behind, nothing can make you apart, more like a sister and a colleague as well, something like that, but "used to", well i know you get it. Promises are meant to be broken thats what i learned, there are things that will definitely make you apart, and theres no such thing as forever or eternity for that matter. People change and i can do nothing about that, even I changed. One mistake can make a great impact on friendship, especially when friends are too weak to handle everything, i will admit I am WEAK, weak as a twig that can easily broken. We didn't survived the test, we were defeated, that is what i got to face, that is what i need to accept. I still have friends, yeah! so don't think that I'm that bad to have no one left except my freakin' self. I do have friends and i love them, i sure do and i know they love me too. I never really tried to live on my own not until now that I'm working... far from my family, far from my friends. That is why i feel so alone... The problem with me is that I'm too clingy, too dependent... Well that is the consequence that i have to live, 'coz people got to live their own lives too, the world does not revolve around one person, the world does not revolve around me. And whether i like or not i have to live on my own. I have to learn to be with my own, to eat alone, to decide for myself. And all this, because everything happens for a reason.

I am 28 and i don't know what is going on with my life. Have a job, yeah i do have a job but I'm hating it every single day. And now i don't know what to do. I'm not moving forward, i feel that I'm stuck, stuck for the rest of my life, if i don't do anything about it. Since i started this job i noticed that everything fall out of place, everyone changed, and it is not pretty anymore. Now I'm torn on to whether to STAY and get paid but not happy at all or GO and be unemployed but free from all the things that I'm running away from and makes me sad.

I am 28 and I've got zillions of questions inside my head, and any time soon i feel that it will explode. A lot of things had happened, why those things happened? why me? why not somebody else? am I a bad person? am I a bad friend? too weak? did i kill someone? Is too much sleeping a sin? a lot of questions that no one can answer, not even me.

I am 28 but i feel that I'm living like I am a hundred years. Is this the part where i need to tell myself "Everything happens for a reason"?